We finally brought McKenzie home from the NICU on Saturday night. It was such an amazing moment, driving away from the hospital together as a new family. We had a moment of prayer together in the car and I cried because nothing has felt quite so momentous in my life.
Taking care of a newborn is quite all consuming, especially in the beginning when we are figuring out how to be parents and McKenzie is still figuring out how to be, well, a tiny person in this big world. Not that we have a whole lot to compare her to, but so far she seems to be a dreamboat of a baby. She has been breastfeeding well (although it is pretty much killing me dead with pain. things no one tells you about.) and sleeps 3-4 hours at a time. She fusses, but is fairly easy to console with snuggles and rocking.
Each day we get out for a walk with McKenzie and Amber, which somehow makes me feel like the day was a success, like, if we have time and energy for a leisurely walk, we must be doing alright. I have moments where I feel a bit overwhelmed by this huge life change. My mind starts trying to figure out how McKenzie is going to fit into our previous life, and it just does not compute. But I have found it comforting to recognize that it is okay to take my role as a mother very seriously. It is okay to spend my entire day caring for McKenzie, even if it means putting a few other things on hold for a while. I find comfort knowing this is my job now and it is okay to pour myself into her.
McKenzie had her first doctor's appointment this morning, and we felt like rockstars showing up on time with a newborn. I mean! The receptionist seemed less than impressed, but we high-fived about it anyway. The receptionist also thought McKenzie's name was Mckenna, and I had to correct her about four times before she got it right. Our baby girl took the appointment like a champ, especially considering where the thermometer is stuck to take her temperature. rude, right? She is gaining weight, which makes our late night/early morning feedings feel a bit more worth it ;)
We are loving getting to know this new little person in our lives and feel blessed to be her parents. Just when I start to feel overwhelmed by the work she takes, she looks up at me after breastfeeding with that milky drunk look in her eyes, and everything feels just right.