Tuesday, February 24, 2015

8/52


kenz // getting so big in my arms but still prefers to be carried everywhere.

Monday, February 23, 2015

an evening outside


We got more snow this weekend and then Sunday was straight up beach weather.  It hit forty degrees!  Where's my sunscreen!  So we all bundled up and walked Amber to the dog park and played in the snow. 


Here we are, at the end of February, and we have finally collected an entire outfit for Kenzie to wear in the snow.  We are late to the party, but we are making up for lost time.  Our friends just let her borrow these boots, so she can finally stomp around in the snow and not get soaked.


Poor Kenz thought she finally had this walking thing down and then we are like here! walk in this totally uneven unpredictable wet stuff! She quickly decided she preferred sitting down, thank you very much.


Amber being the absolute snow psycho she is.  We probably get asked once a week if she is a puppy because she absolutely bounces and prances around in this weather.  Nope.  She's, like, six.  But if you are volunteering to help rid her of some of this energy, then yes please.


obligatory mama-daughter photos, kenzie is looking thrilled about it as always


Kenzie has started to say "Amber come!" which she obviously picked up from us always yelling at our dog to come.  Awesome.  But it is also the cutest.


And we couldn't leave without a snack of snow! In the dog park! Don't think about it too much!

Friday, February 20, 2015

lately


It's still winter. didja know?


and this is how we feel about it.


now that I'm done breastfeeding I can drink ALL THE CAFFEINE.  It's another slice of silver lining I've found, and I'm taking it way too far.


lately I've been taking the girls to the library whenever I get the chance because two toddlers stuck inside an apartment all day is no bueno for everyone's sanity.  And guys! The library is kind of a cool oasis of stay-at-home moms and dads and their cabin-fevered children!  We all sort of sit around and give each other encouraging smiles and hello's while our offspring run wild and free!  And yes, that is my daughter chewing on a puppet show stand.  I choose my battles and that wasn't one of them.


Kenz is now walking a lot and loves holding my hand.  Can I tell you something?  This was the baby milestone I was most looking forward to.  The hand-holding-and-walking-around milestone.  We are there, and it was worth the wait.


And we take lots of baths these days, for which the reason is twofold: one, it is winter and we need more hobbies.  two, kenzie has the unfortunate habit of putting all of her food in her hair.

So there it is, all the exciting times we have been having waiting out this overrated winter thing and counting down the days until spring.  I promise I'll stop pouting about the weather now. 

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

more snowwww


I mean, I'm not talking Boston amounts of snow, settle down people.  But we have been getting more snow than most winters and it is sticking around for a while!  I do love the snow.  It makes this whole winter thing a bit more bearable.  Most winters, I am that obnoxiously positive person who actually loves winter, but this year...I don't know, you guys, I am ready to sit poolside.  I am at least ready to stop putting twelve layers on my child just to run to the car.  Oh The Layers.  The other morning we were getting a bit crazy in the house and it just looked so beautiful outside...so we bundled up and ventured out.  For a few minutes.  Let's not get too adventurous, folks.  We practiced walking through the snow and touching the snow and eating the snow.  It was sort of bright with the sun reflecting off of the snow, as shown on kenzie's face in photo number one.  hashtag worth it.  I had the high hopes of a miniature snowman being built by Kenz after allll the Olaf books we read.  But, nope.  Maybe next year.  Anyways, snow, you really are beautiful and thanks for coming but you are this close to overstaying your welcome so buh-bye now. 

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

7/52


mckenzie // loves reading books and will sit in her little chair for a surprising amount of time turning the pages of her picture books

Monday, February 16, 2015

my valentine


We aren't big into Valentine's Day over here...I guess we've always been a bit cheesed out by the holiday.  We went out for breakfast as a family and did a few fun things around home.  On Sunday, I snuck out for a few hours to my favorite coffee shop to read and journal (and eat their amazing chocolate chip cookies).  My phone dinged and I looked down to see the photo above sent from david.  Kenzie has been welcoming a new molar into her poor little mouth and it has been a doozy of a tooth.  Her two hour afternoon nap was spent sleeping in david's arms, which I'm sure he didn't mind, but still.  It sort of struck me in that moment that I've got quite the guy.  The realization came a day after Valentine's Day-the day where I was suppose to realize all that stuff...but all the same, I am grateful for a man who is happy to spend two hours holding a temperamental teething toddler while I go relax by myself at a coffee shop.  There are a lot of other reasons I love that man, but that's a big one.  He is my valentine.  Not just this weekend, but every day of the year.

Friday, February 13, 2015

happy weekending


...a few photos from our Friday morning around home.  It was sunny, the girls were playing so nicely together, so it had to be documented :)
I have never been big into valentines day, but I wanted to do a little craft with the girls and show some holiday spirit, so we made a little garland together.  
Weekend plans include knocking off several movies on our must-watch list, a breakfast date, and working our way through some double chocolate chip cookies I accidentally made the other day.  
Enjoy yours! xo

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

6/52


kenzie // post bath giggles and snuggles.  A few weeks ago she went through a big anti-bath phase where she would scream and stand up and reach out to be taken out.  We finally figured out that she would do alright if one of us was in the bath with her.  What a site to behold, I tell ya.  Thankful she seems to be back to her bath-loving self.

Monday, February 9, 2015

this weekend



This weekend was a good and slow one.  It started out with a very sick husband.  He hardly ever gets sick so I don't quite know how to handle a sick husband.  He took the day off of work on Friday, which I got super excited about because it will feel like the weekend! I said!  But it didn't at all.  It felt like a regular day except this very sick man was sleeping and puking everywhere.  I followed him around all day cleaning up every area he happened to touch/breath on because WE WERE NOT PASSING THIS AROUND THE FAMILY.  

He felt better the next day, we think it was food poisoning?  Is this all very interesting to you?  The weather was milder this weekend so we went outside without coats like crazy people desperate for Spring!  It was still, like, in the 30's, but it felt straight up balmy.

So we've covered puking and the weather...obviously a lot of interesting things to discuss...

let's see let's see...I went back to Target after I decided I was breaking up with that money-sucking store.  I swear, it is impossible to walk out of there without seven items you did not intend to buy.  I had had it!  I was done!  But the valentine's day dollar section lured me back with their stupid amazing deals and, I just cannot be trusted in that store.

Alright let's end this thing before it goes downhill.  A new week.  A fresh start.  Get out there and make me proud.  or something.

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

saying goodbye to breastfeeding


I recognize that people have all kinds of opinions on sharing photos of breastfeeding.  Well, this post kind of sums up where I fall on that whole spectrum, so.  fair warning and stuff! breastfeeding photos galore heading your way in 3-2-1!

Breastfeeding mckenzie is one of the best things I have ever done in my life.  Not the most impressive, not the most unique, not the most exciting, but one of the very best. 


We had rough beginnings: kenzie being in the NICU and me pumping every three hours and bringing in my milk to see if she would take it from a bottle.  And when she was ready to come home, I spent lots of time with the hospital's lactation specialist trying to get a week old baby to transition from bottle to breast. And then the pain.  oh, the pain.  I dreaded each feeding and cried through the pain of her latching.  But when I started to whine about it to david he said, "this isn't something you have to do.  There are other ways to feed our baby that are perfectly fine. " And right then and there I made the choice: this is what I want to do.


And it is a sacrifice!  Those of you that have nursed know this all too well, but it is endless hours of sitting. And sure, the snuggles and quiet moments are priceless, but it is so time consuming.  Especially when it became clear that mckenzie wouldn't take a bottle, that meant it was up to me.  And me alone.  Every night, it was me that needed to nurse her to sleep.  Every morning, it was me that needed to crawl out of bed and nurse her.  Even in the middle of the night, though david would try his best (bless that man), it was ultimately me who needed to get up and nurse her back to sleep.


But, goodness, the sweet bond that grew from those hours and hours of cuddling and nursing together.  I am eternally grateful I got to experience that for sixteen months.  Of course, I was always set on breastfeeding forever.  I'll wean her when she leaves for kindergarten! I'd say.  If it was working for me and working for her, then why stop?  And the end really didn't seem to be in sight.  We had settled into our little routine and were both doing fine.


I loved that she was old enough to ask to nurse.  There is nothing sweeter than my little daughter crawling over and signing that she would like to snuggle and nurse.  And such an easy and natural way to comfort her when she was afraid or hurt.  After she would get shots I would immediately nurse her and it helped her so much.  If she took a particularly bad tumble I would quickly nurse her.  It was such a practical way for me to calm her down and remind her that I am always here.  I loved how she would fall asleep nursing.  Almost every day before her afternoon nap she would slowly drift off into that hard kind of baby sleep and I would carry her to her crib asleep in my arms.



But she was ready.  And I am thankful that she got to make that decision on her own, that it wasn't something I had to choose for her.  It was abrupt, which I never would have expected.  Literally, from one feeding to the next, her decision was made.  I kept offering, I kept pumping, but she knew she was ready to stop and told me no.  And after quite some time spent in denial, I let it be what it was.  As much as I didn't want to be done, I have always said I want what is best for her.  And this was best.


It was really emotional for me.  I am sad I didn't know that our last feeding was truly our last feeding.  I am sad I don't get to keep nursing her as she continues to grow and become more independent.  Although it seems crazy, I am sad I am no longer tied to those nursing times: those were our times.  I am sad that the moments I'll get to hold our sleeping baby are probably close to over.  I am sad she doesn't need me in that way.


But I am super thankful, too.  I am thankful I was able to nurse, and nurse as long as I did.  I am thankful Kenzie made nursing relaxing and easy for both of us.  And after I get passed some of the sadness and emotion, I am excited for some of the freedom that comes with being done.  I feel, in a way, that I have earned that freedom after months and months of sacrifice.  Of course, I am not trying to make myself out to be a martyr or anything that dramatic, but there is an overwhelming sense of accomplishment that comes with this end.  And rather than looking at it as an ending, I will choose to look at this as the beginning of a new chapter.

And there is always silver lining in everything: David has been putting her to bed each night since she has been done, and he loves it. And she loves it.  And I listen to him singing next to her crib and peek on him tucking her in under her blanket.  And that is enough for me.  This new normal will be okay.